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Forgive Them, Father


A few days ago, I was overwhelmed by the intense pressure in my mind. Suddenly, without warning, a chemical imbalance took hold, leading me to blurt out unverified facts and accuse someone without evidence of wrongdoing. In a moment of distress, I declared to my family that I would ruin this person's life, causing embarrassment for both myself and my mother. Thankfully, they understood the situation and chose to forgive my actions.

Before anything else, I apologize to the individual I misunderstood if news of my actions ever reaches them. Their parents have consistently shown kindness to my family. The trigger for my outburst occurred when my brother collaborated with them on a recent project, and specific actions unwittingly reopened old wounds, provoking a strong emotional response from me.

It's crucial to recognize that even in the face of adversity or harm directed towards ourselves or our loved ones, seeking facts and appropriate support and action is essential rather than succumbing to emotional outbursts. This recent experience has been a departure from my usual demeanor. It has opened my eyes to the reality that even I, who typically remain composed and level-headed, can be pushed to extremes during times of immense challenge. This realization has highlighted why seemingly good-hearted people sometimes exhibit unexpected and uncharacteristic behavior.

After taking some time for introspection, relaxation, and self-support, I regained my equilibrium and recognized my mistake. I am committed to never allowing myself to sink into such a pitiful state again. However, should I struggle, I will confide in those who understand my struggles and promptly question the validity of my actions rather than dismiss them. Nevertheless, I am also aware of my ability to discern between reality and imagination once I regain my balance. Therefore, it's essential for my support system not to dismiss everything I say but to openly communicate and discuss why I may have reached certain conclusions. In this particular instance, my conclusion was triggered by overhearing certain words in a casual joke made by someone close to them, which inadvertently reopened past trauma for me.


Several years ago, I witnessed someone I knew behaving similarly, and I responded with sympathy rather than judgment. I hoped they wouldn't act impulsively again. Now, I offer the same compassion and understanding to myself. Anger has a way of distorting our perceptions. As a wise individual once said: "Anything done in anger is doomed to fail."

Numerous people fail to grasp how anger and aversion in everyday interactions can lead to suffering for themselves and those around them. It's not necessary to have a chemical imbalance to express negativity. Even individuals who appear perfectly normal are susceptible to making such mistakes.


Today, I grasp the significance of "Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do." In my case, I would say, "Forgive me, for I am unaware of my thoughts."

I'm not claiming to be the perfect individual or incapable of reaching where I need to be. I may have reached my lowest or limit point, but I'm still eager to seize another opportunity if it's offered. Instead of knowing the extent of my goodness, I want to understand how much forgiveness can be extended for my thoughts trying to overpower my heart.


One must first initiate change within oneself to effect change in the world.​




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