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Jodha Akbar


As I grappled with the darkness engulfing me each morning, I found solace in reciting the ancient verses of the Ādityahṛdayam. It was my daily ritual, a beacon of clarity during the confusion. But exhaustion from sleepless nights weighed heavily upon me, draining my energy and clouding my thoughts.

Amidst this turmoil, an unexpected blow struck me—my trusted partner, Hanuman, decided to part ways. The news didn't hit me like a thunderbolt because I was already numb and disoriented. Lost in the vast expanse of my emotions, I could barely muster a reaction. I let him go, but not before my instinctual response kicked in. Without conscious thought, I hastily gathered my precious jewelry and entrusted it to Hanuman, bidding him farewell. It was a gesture born out of desperation, a symbolic act of letting go as I navigated the tumultuous seas.

In my emotional turmoil, a figure appeared, Ponyboy, known as the god of animals. His presence was like a gentle breeze, soothing and comforting. Although carnal with sweetness and love, he effortlessly charmed into my world.

Through his tender touch and soulful music, he struck a chord deep within me, stirring emotions I had never experienced. Tears flowed freely from my eyes, washing away the barriers I had erected around my heart.

Inspired by his presence, I began journaling, pouring my thoughts and feelings onto the pages. In each other's company, we found solace and understanding, losing ourselves in the depth of our connection.

But despite our burgeoning bond, we remained distant, and he was not yet a Jodha in my life. The invisible barrier that separated us, a secret wall, left him shocked and hesitant.

Though he made his presence known, capturing my attention and becoming the focal point of my world was not a simple task. He understood he must patiently wait for the security wall guarded by my heart to open for him, allowing him access. Our hearts needed to intertwine, forming a bridge between us before he could become the Eye of my pyramid. 

As our relationship progressed, it became clear that he needed to evolve into Jodha, while I, akin to Akbar, had to relinquish control. The metaphorical wall between us represented the wishing wall of Kusadasi, a formidable barrier between us.

Despite our efforts, he eventually vanished from my life, leaving me shattered and heartbroken. His absence left a void that I struggled to fill. To compound my anguish, tragedy struck with the passing of my father, plunging me into a state of numbness once again.

Alone and grieving, I found myself grappling with the complexities of loss and longing. The memory of his presence lingered like a bittersweet echo, a reminder of the profound connection we once shared. Yet, as I navigated the depths of my sorrow, I held onto the hope that someday, the wall guarding my pyramid would open up to him, allowing love to bloom again in the Eye of the beholder.

Despite the pain of his absence, I found myself unable to resist the urge to confide F**K you to the golden Ponyboy and his flies for presenting an illusion that I had no wall and as if I granted free access to the inner chambers of my pyramid to every goddamn Eye.


Then he returned, not giving up, struck me with a poisoned arrow, and flipped the triangle without touching the wall. It lost its balance and got flooded, thus dragging me into the world of waters.  

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