On the second day of my transition from journaling to blogging, I still trailed behind in the race toward vlogging or a more immersive way of sharing my life inside out.
Today, a stark realization dawned upon me: I sacrificed everything that made me unique in my pursuit to conform to the expectations of those around me. Yet, amidst this sacrifice, I came to the sobering truth that none of those individuals truly cared about my transformation into their ideal. The most startling revelation, however, struck me like lightning: everything I surrendered was not inferior to the persona I adopted.
In truth, I failed to recognize my worth, talents, and intrinsic value. I dimmed my light to align with the desires of others. Part of me sought validation and love from those who entered my life, even at the cost of diminishing myself. But I now understand that genuine love only illuminates one's true essence.
I find myself standing at the crossroads of profound introspection, reflecting on who I once was, who I've become, and what I relinquished for individuals who, truthfully, never truly cared. Though uncertain whether I can reclaim the full extent of my former brilliance and gifts, I acknowledge that it is never too late. I can still choose to be a kintsugi – embracing my new flaws and scars and transforming myself into a beautiful piece of life's new art.
Life doesn't stop here. It presents me with a new dilemma: do I become a showpiece, receiving love, or remain ordinary, offering love? It's not an easy choice. Yet, I draw inspiration from my mother's life; I aspire to be an expression of God, above all else.